The Internet, Personified.

Name: Yo' Mama. (He wouldn't give his real name, apparently for safety purposes.)

Gender: Male

Age: 26.

Race: No one knows, and they're afraid to be called racist if they ask.

Political Views: Flaming Liberal (Obama 2012, he'll stop global warming and save our awful economy because he did such a good job this term)

Occupation: Student in college. He moved out of his mom's basement this last year, and so now he knows everything to be known, of course.

Physical Appearance: 20-30 lbs overweight, tousled(Sometimes greasy) brown hair, acne scars from youthful days, and a moderately tanned complexion.

Hobbies: Objectifying women, watching sports, getting into spirited debates, and laughing at those less fortunate than him.

Sexual orientation-Bisexual, it seems, based on his obvious dislike of women until they are mostly naked and his support of homosexual men until they are attracted to him.

Eating Habits- Vegan to those he meets, Vegetarian when surrounded by friends and colleagues, carnivore when at a fast food restaurant.

Music Preferences- Unclear, but for some reason HATES nickelback and would kill Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black if given the chance.