The Internet, Personified.

Name: Yo' Mama. (He wouldn't give his real name, apparently for safety purposes.)

Gender: Male

Age: 26.

Race: No one knows, and they're afraid to be called racist if they ask.

Political Views: Flaming Liberal (Obama 2012, he'll stop global warming and save our awful economy because he did such a good job this term)

Occupation: Student in college. He moved out of his mom's basement this last year, and so now he knows everything to be known, of course.

Physical Appearance: 20-30 lbs overweight, tousled(Sometimes greasy) brown hair, acne scars from youthful days, and a moderately tanned complexion.

Hobbies: Objectifying women, watching sports, getting into spirited debates, and laughing at those less fortunate than him.

Sexual orientation-Bisexual, it seems, based on his obvious dislike of women until they are mostly naked and his support of homosexual men until they are attracted to him.

Eating Habits- Vegan to those he meets, Vegetarian when surrounded by friends and colleagues, carnivore when at a fast food restaurant.

Music Preferences- Unclear, but for some reason HATES nickelback and would kill Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black if given the chance.

Its almost over....

I'm almost a senior. Sort of. You're considered a senior right after you finish junior year, right? Well, I don't want to be a senior. I want to rewind about....16 or so years and just go through everything again. Except ages 13-15. We can skip those. I just don't want to leave everything I know behind. I'm worried I won't be able to make friends, or get a boyfriend, or get a job, or finish college, or pay my bills! I'm going to be so confused on my own. And lonely. That will be the worst part of it all. So yes. Either rewind, or fast forward into a time where I am happy and stable. Also skinny. Yes. I keep hoping that's in my future somewhere. I think I'm going to try a diet this summer where I eat nothing from a package, just vegetables, fruit, and meat. Bread only if I grind up the wheat and make it out of scratch, and bake it outside on a stone in the fire. I will cook the meat on a stick over the flames. Beverages? Ditch water boiled to de-contaminate. Milk, straight from the goat, unpasturized. I will live outside and force myself to travel at least 6 miles a day and build my own shelter. It will be like survivor: Backyard edition. And I will make a friend do it with me. But we can still go inside to the bathroom. No need to be extreme. This post has traveled a bit from its original theme. Thats okay. Im serious about the survivor thing though.